How To Be in A Long Distance Relationship (and Be Happy)

In the year 2020, it is more common than ever to meet your significant other online. And no, I don’t mean on Tinder or Bumble. I mean truly online, on Twitter, Instagram, even Facebook (need to throw one in for the older crowd too.)

Online as in you made an account for a cartoon that you love because you want to meet other people who also love that cartoon. One thing leads to another and suddenly you’re in a long-distance relationship with a girl from Las Vegas, who never even passes through Missouri. I mean, who would want to, right? 

First, you’re both going to feel some doubt and fear 一her more than you. This is either unimportant or the most important. This is where the relationship either blossoms or it ends forever. I would say choose wisely, but it’s not always up to you. They’re either just not that into you, or they’re so into you that they are willing to deal with the 1,473.9 miles between you. She chooses the latter. 

You realize that maybe only direct messaging on Twitter isn’t the best way to continue a serious and mature relationship. So you get her number and text her. There isn’t much difference, but you feel like the relationship is becoming more real. It’s not just a silly Twitter romance anymore. At this point, your family and friends will definitely begin teasing you. Get used to this. It never stops. For now, they’re just wondering why you’re always smiling at your phone, and who could be on the other side of it. Begin telling your friends that you have a girlfriend. They’ll be really excited for you. Don’t tell too many people though; it still doesn’t feel like a serious and mature relationship enough yet for that. 

If you’re anything like me, the first phone call will be the scariest moment of your life. What if she doesn’t like your voice? What if she notices that slight lisp you’ve had since you bit the tip of your tongue off in kindergarten?

 Or, what if she’s so high during the first phone call that she doesn’t notice any of that and just talks about how cute you sound when you sneeze?

One of the most important things when trying to maintain and be happy in a long-distance relationship is Facetiming一or any other form of video chat available一and making sure your “plans” to meet each other aren’t just empty promises. At this point, you’re about six months into your serious and mature relationship. And telling people is becoming easier. You’re getting better at ignoring their faces when you have to inevitably mention how you’ve never actually seen your girlfriend. 

But the gnawing thought of not being able to see your girlfriend keeps you up at night sometimes. 

For a while after your six-month anniversary, it’ll be the same thing every day. Calling each other for hours at a time, saying you’re going to meet as soon as the money stops being a roadblock, watching movies and shows together until you have nothing else to do but lie down and look at her through the dim glow of the phone screen.

Your mom is going to tell you about your Big Family Trip to California. You’re going to roll your eyes. These trips either never happen, or consist of constant arguing the entire ride there when they do. You are not excited. That is until your mom pulls you aside to tell you that maybe a one-day stop in Vegas may be essential for the Big Family Trip to happen. 

It’s for one day. Eight hours. You get about eight hours with your girlfriend for a year. You couldn’t be more excited. 

You two hug for five minutes (at least) and the entire day is spent crying and hugging and finally feeling the realness you looked for since the beginning. At one point she says to you “Let’s take hundreds of photos so that it looks like we have a lot when we make posts in the future.” You laugh and try and change your hair as much as possible for each photo so that they look to be on many different days, instead of just one, for eight hours.

Later that night in the stiff hotel room bed you’ll cry at every single one of the 408 photos that were taken.

Many people say that once you meet in person you will realize how hard long distance is. This isn’t true; you realize that right away. Meeting your significant other will not make you realize something you already knew. Meeting your significant other will make you realize how worth it it is. How real and mature it is. 


Zoë Miller

Zoë Miller

Zo Miller was born in Columbia, Missouri, loves Taylor Swift and revolves her entire personality around the color pink.

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One thought on “How To Be in A Long Distance Relationship (and Be Happy)

  1. richard

    I have been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. It’s been 5 years since my relationship started. I was able to continue this relationship only because of the love and affection I have for my girlfriend


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